I have written 50-word Dribbles and 100-word Drabbles. For the first time, I tried my hand at a 25-word story that might just come true someday. I'd like to call it a Drubble. The inspiration was a near-miss with a porter—or coolie as they're still known—at the suburban railway station where I get off. In fact, I've had several near-misses. Porters and deliverymen carrying their burden on their heads and shoulders are a common sight at most railway stations in India.
I saw a porter with a load on his head and ducked.
Then he saw an overhead cable and stooped.
And knocked me out cold.
Then he saw an overhead cable and stooped.
And knocked me out cold.
Oh, Prashant, that is a fine story! I'm really impressed! You tell quite a lot with just those 25 words. Thank you for sharing this, and for getting me to think about 25-word stories...
ReplyDeleteMargot, you were the initial inspiration behind my foray into such mini stories. So, thank you! Telling a story in 25 words is not easy.
DeleteShort and sweet. Very nice, Prashant.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Oscar. This is one of many situations I encounter every day.
DeleteThere may be more of these coming then?
DeleteOscar, I certainly hope to, but before that I want to start posting book reviews again. I have neglected the blog this year.
DeleteGood one, Prashant, with an unexpected ending.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Elgin. Not entirely unexpected in my part of the world. We're Indians are forever ducking something or other!
DeleteGreat fun Prashant (I hope the last bit wasn't based on reality though)- reminds me of the "short shorts" that Fredric Brown used to write - well done mate!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sergio. It can come true if I don't look where I'm going; especially at crowded railway stations where you'll find several load-bearing porters on every platform.
DeleteI have heard of stories this short, Prashant, but have only read one or two of them. This one is very nice, those porters are amazing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tracy. Oh yes, the porters are amazing because they carry heavy loads without any safety devices. In fact, they don't even wear proper shoes; they were slippers, instead.
DeleteYou got it all in. Tough to do.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Charles. The idea occurred to me as I got off the train yesterday and spotted a porter with a large crate on his head. It is tough to do, I agree.
DeleteConcise and fun, Prashant.
ReplyDeleteThank you, David. The story idea presents itself, thanks to the oddball characters and situations I encounter while commuting in Bombay.
DeleteThat's great! The perfect funny story in a few words...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Moira. It sounds more like a limerick!
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