Thursday, December 08, 2016

Drubble #1: A story in 25 words

I have written 50-word Dribbles and 100-word Drabbles. For the first time, I tried my hand at a 25-word story that might just come true someday. I'd like to call it a Drubble. The inspiration was a near-miss with a porter—or coolie as they're still known—at the suburban railway station where I get off. In fact, I've had several near-misses. Porters and deliverymen carrying their burden on their heads and shoulders are a common sight at most railway stations in India.

I saw a porter with a load on his head and ducked.
Then he saw an overhead cable and stooped.
And knocked me out cold.
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18 comments:

  1. Anonymous8 December 2016 at 10:11

    Oh, Prashant, that is a fine story! I'm really impressed! You tell quite a lot with just those 25 words. Thank you for sharing this, and for getting me to think about 25-word stories...

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 10:58

      Margot, you were the initial inspiration behind my foray into such mini stories. So, thank you! Telling a story in 25 words is not easy.

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  2. Oscar Case8 December 2016 at 13:30

    Short and sweet. Very nice, Prashant.

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 11:00

      Thank you, Oscar. This is one of many situations I encounter every day.

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    2. Oscar Case10 December 2016 at 14:43

      There may be more of these coming then?

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    3. Prashant C. Trikannad12 December 2016 at 00:53

      Oscar, I certainly hope to, but before that I want to start posting book reviews again. I have neglected the blog this year.

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  3. Elgin Bleecker8 December 2016 at 21:27

    Good one, Prashant, with an unexpected ending.

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 11:01

      Thank you, Elgin. Not entirely unexpected in my part of the world. We're Indians are forever ducking something or other!

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  4. Anonymous9 December 2016 at 00:08

    Great fun Prashant (I hope the last bit wasn't based on reality though)- reminds me of the "short shorts" that Fredric Brown used to write - well done mate!

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 11:04

      Thank you, Sergio. It can come true if I don't look where I'm going; especially at crowded railway stations where you'll find several load-bearing porters on every platform.

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  5. TracyK9 December 2016 at 22:36

    I have heard of stories this short, Prashant, but have only read one or two of them. This one is very nice, those porters are amazing.

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 11:06

      Thank you, Tracy. Oh yes, the porters are amazing because they carry heavy loads without any safety devices. In fact, they don't even wear proper shoes; they were slippers, instead.

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  6. Charles Gramlich10 December 2016 at 06:42

    You got it all in. Tough to do.

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad10 December 2016 at 11:15

      Thank you, Charles. The idea occurred to me as I got off the train yesterday and spotted a porter with a large crate on his head. It is tough to do, I agree.

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  7. David Cranmer10 December 2016 at 13:47

    Concise and fun, Prashant.

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    1. Prashant C. Trikannad12 December 2016 at 01:03

      Thank you, David. The story idea presents itself, thanks to the oddball characters and situations I encounter while commuting in Bombay.

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  8. Clothes In Books16 December 2016 at 04:23

    That's great! The perfect funny story in a few words...

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